One month into the war, Iranians wrestle with lost livelihoods, bombs and worries of the future

CAIRO (AP) - Iranians were already reeling from a shattered economy and the mass killing of protesters when the first U.S. and Israeli bombs slammed into Tehran a month ago.

Now they are struggling to get by through a war with no end in sight, wrestling with lost livelihoods, damage to homes and the stress of explosions. Many wonder where it is leading - to the destruction of their homeland, the chaotic fall of the theocracy or its survival, wounded but more extreme.

"I think we've experienced everything bad possible," said a 26-year-old designer in Tehran, "from the terrible atmosphere of January and the killings and arrests to the war."

Daily explosions, near and far and unpredictable, shake and damage homes. Businesses are struggling. An unprecedented internet blackout since January has largely cut people off from the outside world and made communication within Iran more difficult.

The trauma of war comes on top of the shock from January, when hundreds of thousands across Iran marched in the biggest protests against the theocracy in decades - only to be met by security forces opening fire, killing thousands. Tens of thousands were detained, and arrests have continued.

The AP spoke to 10 people across Iran, most of whom spoke on condition of anonymity for their security.

The designer, who with a partner runs a factory making leather fashion products, said her business was on the verge of closing.

"When the economy gets bad, nonessential goods are the first thing to be removed from the shopping cart," she said. Much of her sales are online, and the internet blackout practically reduced "the small sales to zero."

Since the January protests, she has had to live off her meager savings, and the violence of the crackdown upset her so much she has not been able to return to work.

When the war began on Feb. 28, she moved to her parents' house. A few days later, the blast from a nearby strike damaged her apartment that she had just left. Like most Iranians, she doesn't have home insurance, so she will have to pay for repairs herself.

She only leaves her parents' house to buy necessities.

The terrifying cadence of airstrikes shapes daily life in Tehran.

An engineer living in Tehran tries to find a pattern in strikes - are certain times safer? Recent nights saw explosions light up the skies. One evening, a blast shook his home as he had guests over. They climbed up on the roof and tried in vain to figure out where it hit. "We didn't see any visible fire," he said.

He thinks the strikes are less frequent now, or maybe "our perception of it has changed," as everyone gets used to bombings.

He feels anxious when family or friends go out on the streets, and struggles to sleep. He had a job offer before the war but does not know if it is still there. Soon, he says, many will struggle with rent and bills.

Government workers, who make up a large part of the workforce, are still getting salaries. But private businesses are struggling to pay employees as they close for days on end or reduce hours.

The collapse of Iran's currency, largely caused by U.S. and international sanctions over its nuclear program, triggered the protests late last year.

Many Iranians have fled to the north, which has been relatively unscathed. One of the main cities, Rasht, has been packed with Iranians who fled from Tehran and elsewhere, straining local resources.

A doctor at a pediatric hospital said the number of patients has nearly doubled. Medicines are running out, he said, and patients now are asked to buy some basic supplies, including antibiotics or IV fluids, from the market.

The internet blackout is affecting his ability to access his patients' history and check correct dosages online, he said. It has also forced the doctor to set aside his own personal effort to document the casualty toll from the January crackdown because witnesses are unreachable and the online database is inaccessible.

He plays video games or watches television to pass the time. In a week-old binge, he is five seasons into "The Walking Dead," the American postapocalyptic horror drama series.

Throughout, Iranians have been wrestling with widely mixed feelings over the war, the ruling theocracy and the future.

Authorities continue to organize pro-government street rallies, aiming to show public support. The feared paramilitary Basij, charged with internal security, has stepped up patrols even as it is targeted in airstrikes.

The engineer said decades of misrule have been hard on Iranians. But he said that doesn't justify the U.S.-Israeli attacks. He was angered by the deaths and the damage to infrastructure and military capacities.

He's trying to channel that anger into determination to rebuild. "I'm going to be stronger after this war. I will be damaged, just like my country. But that's it. This is life. We're going to make it better."

At the start of the war, U.S. President Donald Trump called on Iranians to overthrow their leaders. Now, he says he is negotiating with senior Iranian officials who he claims are "begging" for a deal, without naming them. Iran has denied any such talks are underway.

Some Iranians fear the war will leave behind a wounded but even more oppressive Islamic Republic.

One woman in her 40s said she feared negotiations more than war. "This is what our situation has come to - we are willing to endure war in the hope of being freed from them," she said.

The doctor in Rasht said he viewed the war as "the last remaining option" for getting rid of the ruling clerics. But he fears the way that the U.S. and Israel are conducting it. If the U.S. strikes a deal now, he said, it would only entrench the theocracy.

"We now have the Islamic Republic on steroids," he said. "We are afraid they will take this revenge out on the people, which they very openly see as the enemy from inside."

In southwestern Iran, a lawyer who has represented detainees and women's rights defenders - and has herself been imprisoned - spoke to the AP earlier in the war, saying she dreamed of the day the Islamic Republic would crumble. She spoke about the power of collective action and self-determination.

After a month of bombings, she seemed more introspective, taciturn, exhausted by isolation and uncertainty.

"There is no sign of hope, no dreams, no joy," she said. "Worry about the future has taken over."